12/26/2019

Heading towards the end of a chapter

Why does life have to be so cruel to some? What makes things happen to certain people and not others? How is this effect you and your life? I awake some days so mad that Dennis will be taken away from me so early in our journey through life together. Every day I try to maintain normal behavior while I am screaming inside. I don't want to show him that I am so lost in these emotions. I want to make him feel like he is being treated the same as I have always have. Pretending the today is like any other day we have had. Death is closer now. I see it coming each day and I can't run away from it, I am trapped and have to face it every waking hour. He doesn't say anything but I can see the fear in his eyes. We have moments when we just both look into each others eyes and not a word is spoken but we both understand what the future has in store for us. Everyday I want to ask him if he has decided yet. Dennis has chosen to carry out with a Medically Assist Death. I don't understand it when there is one option that could save him and he has chosen to die instead. To be continued...